tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post7201458082213960503..comments2023-11-02T00:49:02.272-07:00Comments on MyTwoLines: The One Where I Get AngryMyTwoLineshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11488860357456329714noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-63803720706828224462018-11-20T05:47:42.887-08:002018-11-20T05:47:42.887-08:00infertility for easy Conception. (No more adoption...infertility for easy Conception. (No more adoption, with Dr Itua your problem will solve and you will have your child with ease.I have been blog Sites for a while now and today i felt like i should share my story because i was a victim too. I had endometriosis for 18 years and i never thought i would ever get a cure due to the terrible symptoms i had and this made it impossible for me to get pregnant even after 12 years of marriage and it was a serious issue. I got to know about Dr. Itua on Blog Site who treated someone and the person shared a story of how she got a cure and let her contact details, i contacted Dr. Itua and he actually confirmed it and i decided to give a try too and use his herbal medicine that was how my burden ended completely. My son will be 2 this december and i am gratetful to God and thankful to his medicine too.Dr Itua Can As Well Cure The Following Desease…Cancer,Hiv,Herpes, Hepatitis B,Liver Inflammatory,Diabetis,Fribroid,Get Your Ex Back, If you have (A just reach his on (drituaherbalcenter@gmail. com Or Whatsapp Number..+2348149277967)He can also advise you on how to handle some marital's issues.He's a good man. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16401120318857509655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-90229471341103523142013-08-23T00:33:21.834-07:002013-08-23T00:33:21.834-07:00i am similar to biology is important. i had been f...i am similar to biology is important. i had been followed, even though i love my mother and father, i always experienced just like some truly belong. mother and father which take up can say it doesn't matter, just like our the mother can, but to me, as an followed little one, it lets you do issue. i am sorry that your sensations ended up damage, yet that's generate an income experience biology.<a href="http://www.joyrs.com/" rel="nofollow">Rs To Gold</a><a href="http://www.mmomarkt.com/" rel="nofollow">WOW Gold Kaufen Billig </a>cheapest rs goldhttp://www.joyrs.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-64502085876113007282013-02-18T15:23:44.378-08:002013-02-18T15:23:44.378-08:00I am thinking hard about this post. And comparing...I am thinking hard about this post. And comparing and contrasting your thoughts with my own. And trying to put into a words a feeling that I have. It's been a long time since I psycho-analyzed my own IVF motivations. You may remember that The Man had veto'ed adoption and in any case, I wasn't sure I was on board. So. Clearly we were driven by the biology. And just like so many things we humans do, we make the choices because that is what we feel is right for us. Otherwise we would do something different. But what does that really mean? The lady two offices down from me spends a HUGE portion of her "family time" shuttling her kids back and forth from their sporting events - her son often has 4-6 games in ONE weekend. I think she's effing crazy. But that's what she thinks is best. But so what? What does that really mean for me and my life? Nothing. <br /><br />If I was willing to go to the length of multiple IVFs to have a child, but not willing to adopt, then on some level, I certainly must think biology is "best". But so what? What does that mean? <br /><br />Do I think that I'm a better parent becuase I am genetically related to my offspring? No.<br /><br />Do I think my offspring are better becuase they are genetically related to me? No.<br /><br />So what is "better"? <br /><br />I guess I think that, for me, PARENTING, is better becuase I am genetically related to my offspring. But, if anything, that is more a reflection of my own genetic ego-centrism than anything else. And certainly bears no negative thoughts or feelings about adoptive parents or children. If anything, I admire those individuals for being so full of love that they can open their hearts so completely even to someone not genetically related. <br /><br />I dunno. I will continue to think on this. I have not been around the blogosphere so much lately but it seems so many of "us" are not. It is good to hear from you though. Much love and support.<br /><br />TMehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07923049494756911105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-69109167874211305232013-02-16T15:43:20.844-08:002013-02-16T15:43:20.844-08:00Our son was conceived via IVF. We had made the de...Our son was conceived via IVF. We had made the decision (right before the embryo transfer) that we would do this once, and that was it. The emotional and physical toll were too great. We didn't consider adoption, no because we believe that bio is better, but for selfish reasons I suppose. I had already had a miscarriage and had experienced what a loss was. I didn't want to go through all of the adoption red tape only to risk losing another child. I know that I would love any child as much as my bio child, but adoption just isn't for everyone - for many reasons.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-44315187938266000632013-02-14T15:30:05.756-08:002013-02-14T15:30:05.756-08:00i feel like biology does matter. i was adopted, an...i feel like biology does matter. i was adopted, and although i love my parents, i always felt like i didn't really belong. parents who adopt can say that it doesn't matter, like my a mom does, but to me, as an adopted child, it does matter. sorry that your feelings were hurt, but thats how i feel about biology.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-5433272093698083302013-02-06T20:29:52.810-08:002013-02-06T20:29:52.810-08:00The anti-inflammatory diet the doctor recommended ...The anti-inflammatory diet the doctor recommended is Dr. Andrew Weil's diet: http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART02995/Dr-Weil-Anti-Inflammatory-Food-Pyramid.html. The only change she made to it was where it says 1-2 glasses of red wine per day, she changed it to per week. She also said cheese and yogurt is okay (it's on the pyramid), but no milk. That's going to be tough for me, because pretty much all I drink is water and skim milk - I'm not a coffee or tea person, and I try to stay away from juice.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09564075022074996137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-70147040584484753442013-02-01T15:06:00.015-08:002013-02-01T15:06:00.015-08:00I'm sorry I have not commented on this until n...I'm sorry I have not commented on this until now. I read it when you first posted it, and I went back through my recent posts (not that there have been many of them) worried that maybe it was something I had written. I certainly hope not, but if so, it definitely wasn't intentional. Whatever it was, I'm sorry it caused you pain. <br /><br />Also, thank you for suggesting the possibility of inguinal hernia. I had considered that (or an incisional hernial, given its proximity to my scar), but all the pictures I found were of really obvious protrusions and mine is one of those things where someone would probably look at it and say "Eh, your body is just storing a little bit more fat above that side of the scar." But the pressure feeling does go away when I lay down, so maybe it is. I'll ask about that if nothing shows up on the tests, because from what I've read, it can be very difficult to detect hernias on tests. If you don't mind my asking, was the protrusion you had really obvious?<br /><br />Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09564075022074996137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-34281722297421869372013-01-30T16:28:27.936-08:002013-01-30T16:28:27.936-08:00Biology does matter. As an adoptee taken from her ...Biology does matter. As an adoptee taken from her culture and homeland, take it from us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-62639958379060571732013-01-30T09:33:33.536-08:002013-01-30T09:33:33.536-08:00That comment was insensitive. That being said, I d...That comment was insensitive. That being said, I don't disagree with it. I think Biology is very important. It's who were inherently are, it's where we are from and it's where ur genetic history is headed. I'm adopted and I love my parents but I also felt something I never have when I met my birthparents. Adoption is not ideal, it is a replacement when biology can't happen because of life circumstances. I love my parents so much so it hurts to say this but... bilogy is bestAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-19504956940688840492013-01-29T17:21:26.419-08:002013-01-29T17:21:26.419-08:00Biology is crap. It is being there for those babie...Biology is crap. It is being there for those babies that makes you a mom. I don't know the story...I've been Mia forever and I am sorry, but in my experience as well, genes mean nothing at all.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05323373273366929886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-17471098094762818742013-01-29T08:00:08.032-08:002013-01-29T08:00:08.032-08:00I don't think that "biology is better,&qu...I don't think that "biology is better," at least not for me. But at the same time, different people are seeking to achieve different goals, or meet different needs, through parenthood. For some of those people, perhaps they truly wouldn't find parenting a child who is not related to them by blood and genetics as fulfilling. . . just as some people don't want to parent any child at all.<br /><br />I say, to each his/her own. I can certainly see why a statement like that would sting an adoptive mother, and I am sorry you read it and were upset. I see it as coming from a place of ignorance vs. a place of judgment.<br /><br />Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08872513410814268769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-84900877371517077842013-01-29T00:14:08.819-08:002013-01-29T00:14:08.819-08:00Please just remember that you KNOW that this is be...Please just remember that you KNOW that this is best for you and your family. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It sucks when they say it without even thinking of your feelings, and it would super-exra-suck if your kids heard. But I think that most people (okay, maybe I am being optimistic) believe that family is more about HOW you are together than anything else.<br /><br />For us, adoption was almost never an option. My husband was opposed to the intrusiveness of the process. I've said before that if we hadn't had one child it would have been different. Secondary infertility is a weird subcategory. If both parents aren't on the same page it always comes back to being glad you have the one you have.<br /><br />I wonder if it's kind of like the working parent, stay-at-home parent thing. People say incredibly backhanded judgmental things all the time and it's not like it will ever be resolved. And most of the things people say aren't really thought-through. Like, people backpedal all the time once they realize I work. They do understand, but they are so used to reinforcing their own choices that they don't necessarily remember to consider other people's possibilites, too.<br /><br />I always thought infertility would make people more sensitive to other private hardships, but it does seem to bring out a lot of judgmenty issues. It's hard to be open and accepting when things are so uncertain and all the odds and risks and money and fear just pile up.<br /><br />Most of us think that finding your way out of the crazy maze of infertility is a tremendous success in and of itself. You have become such a beautiful family through adoption. I think if you ever need a reason to keep writing, maybe it's just to give someone who might be unsure a glimpse into the sweetness of the life you have found. Lorrainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04180034761243431694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-2814069411373715462013-01-25T12:59:28.126-08:002013-01-25T12:59:28.126-08:00I got off the quest for a child a few years back. ...I got off the quest for a child a few years back. After three failed IVF's, we considered adoption but at the time we wanted to pursue other areas of our lives. We have been building our dream home. My husband is a builder, and he is so talented. I am a CPA, and I have been furthering my career, and we are overjoyed with our lives at the moment. We may never be parents, but we have both come to accept that. In reading your post, the one thing that touched me is the part that some of the most important people in your life are not biologically related to you which is so true. My husband is my very best friend. We have been married for sixteen years. We aren't biologically related (LOL). I have so many close friends that mean more to me and would do more for me than alot of my family. I just wanted to say that I totally agree with you on the biology issue. You have two beautiful children. JulieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-79837308049183690602013-01-24T13:56:51.296-08:002013-01-24T13:56:51.296-08:00Hmmm. I'm sorry you were offended by whatever ...Hmmm. I'm sorry you were offended by whatever you read. However, some of the comments seem to be conflating trying via ivf with OE as saying biology is best and therefore adoption ( DE, etc) is somehow second rate. I don't think that's fair. It's natural to want to have biological children. Comments like "I don't get these people who try and try again" sound like ignorant fertile commenters to articles about ivf etc. as someone said, to each their own. For some of us DE is not an option or we find adoption too fraught with pitfalls. For others ivf is too much. But people who choose ART shouldn't be demonized. You can carry the guilt argument further. You can criticize people for spending $ on ivf when there are orphans out there. Well, you can also point out that there are m at more older children waiting for adoption, so adopting babies is less worthy. Or maybe children in country X have it worse off etc. the point is we each have our own path and just because someone chose a different one than our own doesn't make it less worthy. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-22548985411727699872013-01-24T11:34:15.125-08:002013-01-24T11:34:15.125-08:00Ugh, I know what you mean. After adopting V, I won...Ugh, I know what you mean. After adopting V, I wondered how we could have even tried as long to try and get pregnant. We were stuck in a rut and kept trying and trying and trying... And not because I believed genetics were important, I Was just afraid of the unknown frankly. V was the best decision we ever made. I don't know what it's like to love a bio child but I Can assure you I am head over heels. And it is insulting in a backwards way, what if my daughter is exposed to such a message? Mama bear outrage! Smash!<br /><br />Spinning this in a positive way- if this person truly believes that, than it's best if he/ she does not pursue adoption. Case closed. <br />Glass Case of Emotionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05955456197879910244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-2390059268300309492013-01-23T09:38:45.069-08:002013-01-23T09:38:45.069-08:00Seriously?!? Isn't love, love?
Some of the ...Seriously?!? Isn't love, love? <br /><br />Some of the people I love most are not related to me. And I didn't know their parents, medical history, how their mother's diet was when they were pregnant, etc. when I fell in love with them. Because I fell in love with... them. And I think what disgusts me most is that we're talking about a person, a soul, a child. Love is love.<br /><br />BAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-5934674117310958692013-01-22T19:31:53.262-08:002013-01-22T19:31:53.262-08:00As the mom of children by both--birth and adoption...As the mom of children by both--birth and adoption--I can say with absolute certainty that biology is not *better*. There is no "better" or "best" when it come to parenting our children. Our children each present their own unique challenges, and bring their own joys to the family. Some days my children born to me are "harder" and some days my child joined to me through adoption is "harder". The love I have for each of them is different, profound, and intense. Anyone who makes such a broad statement is speaking from ignorance.Norahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10466907509767024548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-27084729193907740792013-01-22T12:01:52.223-08:002013-01-22T12:01:52.223-08:00I have lots of catching up to do, but have to star...I have lots of catching up to do, but have to start somewhere, right? (-; Boy I have missed you my egg twin!<br /><br />It's hard to hear things from people not closely tied to the ALI world, but I find I often give them a slide by (and a lesson) a time or 2 before creating some distance between us. I struggle much harder with the subtleties that come from fellow IF's who I feel should just know better, especially if we have followed one another for some time. Sometimes I have to check myself to make sure it is not my issue (because let's face it, I do have some issues - LOL). <br /><br />I struggle hardcore with IF successes who AGONIZE over supplementing formula or stopping breastfeeding to use formula. The underlying message is always that breast is best and I don't want to feed MY baby that comparable to McDonald's formula crap...at least this is what I hear in my head. Mostly this is my issue, but I tend to also think that if you know you have adoptive mamas who used formula from day 1 for their babies, you could curb your verbiage a bit...says the mama with a 10-month-old-formula-fed-never-been-sick-a-day-in-her-life-(knock on wood)-and-killing-milestones-like-a-bad-ass. (-; <br /><br />I not too long ago saw a multiple IVF vet friend, now twin mama re-pin a "funny" on Pinterest that shows twin babies. One is laughing and one is crying and the caption reads "DUDE. I'm JOKING you are NOT adopted!!!)". My head wanted to explode and I think my left eye is still twitching just a bit. <br /><br />It's out there and I know I will not be able to shield my daughter from it all, BUT I will surround her with as many people as I can who just "get it" while leaving those who won't try (or stop trying) behind. I already discuss random stupid people crap with her that I know she doesn't yet understand. It's more for my practice because I know these conversations will become very real one day and I want to have some practice just hearing the words flow from my mouth.<br /><br />Hang in there mama. I hope writing it all out helped release some of the anger. If this friend doesn't step up and own/explain, it might be time to find someone new to surround yourself with. Life is just too short. xoxoAnnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14504607607464320241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-24581852848825910592013-01-22T09:46:51.709-08:002013-01-22T09:46:51.709-08:00Yikes. I have definitely had people say similar th...Yikes. I have definitely had people say similar things to me and its always a strange and awkward thing. I'm sorry it happened --those types of comments affect me differently on different days. I hope you're feeling a little better. It's so, so complicated.Cory and Mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11630337123915433469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-47934881846724637092013-01-21T21:35:45.500-08:002013-01-21T21:35:45.500-08:00As a mom of one by adoption and one by birth, this...As a mom of one by adoption and one by birth, this post made me think (and write a response an delete it and think some more). I'm sorry you felt bad. I hope you're able to find like minded families to just be yourselves with. And adoption is far more complicated than I ever imagined it would be, but I'd never paint in such broad strokes as *better* or *worse* than another way to build your family. Hope you are feeling better.Annie Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00851156767173316716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-65052608051790782932013-01-21T20:19:48.736-08:002013-01-21T20:19:48.736-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Annie Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00851156767173316716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-64207408769693365622013-01-21T17:38:18.411-08:002013-01-21T17:38:18.411-08:00I don't have much more to contribute beyond wh...I don't have much more to contribute beyond what your posters have already done so well. I'm sorry you had to live with that anger for days and I hope posting took some of the load off. As much as that Elizabeth Banks interview pissed me off, it got me thinking (we listen to wtf podcasts in the car - the best place to think) about my own feelings about IF and loss which I haven't revisited lately so I have to give her credit for that. This bio vs. adopted thing is so simple (there is no 'better') and yet so complex (is your family comprised of both adopted and bio kids? do you/did you have IF? etc etc). Sure, I always knew I wanted to adopt, but somehow having the cloud of IF hanging over my family means I'll never really know how bio and adopted are different (even if neither is better, we can agree they're different). 'Well, who cares how they're different?' some might say. But I guess I do. And that's totally my cross to bear. <br /><br />I'm with you on the close relationships. The people I feel most protected, understood and supported by are not blood.heatherhttp://thirdwaver.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-44262459375516838952013-01-21T16:47:38.260-08:002013-01-21T16:47:38.260-08:00As I was reading A's post I thinking about the...As I was reading A's post I thinking about the Banks interview, too, which I just listened to today. I was SUPER turned off but also: what can you do? Some people just feel bio is better. As A says, it's their prerogative - but they should know - a CELEB should especially know - that their words can sound insenstivie and actually super ignorant. heatherhttp://thirdwaver.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-31994364618544207262013-01-21T14:43:10.772-08:002013-01-21T14:43:10.772-08:00Holy crap!! I have no words. To assume that biolog...Holy crap!! I have no words. To assume that biological children are somehow better than adopted children just blows my mind. It implies such liminal thinking and capacity to love. Does this mean that the author believes that only people who look like him/her are better too? Because we've been down that road as a species too and it's never ended well.<br /><br />I firmly believe that love is blind to so many trivial things. Yes, infertility and loss are painful, horrible things. But adoption is such a beautiful and amazing thing. These children are no less or second. There is no better or preferible. <br /><br />Your children are your children. I see that with each picture and video (thank you for these, btw). Anyone who fails to see that has a lot of growing to do as a human being. Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5314273745230597113.post-70352880244198718682013-01-21T09:43:27.541-08:002013-01-21T09:43:27.541-08:00my word, did they actually come out and say 'b...my word, did they actually come out and say 'biology is better'?. <br /><br />i have not adopted. so i don't know... but i am going to guess that, like many other experiences that are not the norm, most people- including people who you would think would know better- do not understand, or have the capacity to see the whole picture, like *you* do, the person who has seen and walked around the whole magilla and know it inside and out.<br /><br />and even then, like you said, for people who really feel deep down inside that biology is the only way *for them*, well, that just has to be that.<br /><br />i know a woman who lost her baby as an infant. she is mid-40's, AMA, and has given up TTC... she is totally closed to the idea of adoption, or donor egg/embryo, because in her words, she held her daughter and her daughter was the spitting image of herself, and this element was a huge part of the connection and experience of her being a mom. so, she only feels like that will do- the biology has to be there for her. it blows my mind that she is willing to give up the dream of parenting for this connection. but she is adament, and there is no convincing her- this is her reality, her belief.<br /><br />so, we may think we know a different (and awesome!) path, for some people, their path ends abruptly at genetics. <br /><br />the key is to not let this stuff hurt you. let your truth be strong. you know what worked for you, and the rest is just someone else's troubles- try not to allow it to get under your skin.<br /><br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com