Saturday, January 15, 2011


In more ways that one.

Is that a collective sigh of relief you hear? Because I hear it. We're now the Mr. and Mrs. MTLs (MyTwoLines in case you're confused) which has a much, much nicer ring than the LCs, no? It certainly does to our hearts and ears.

Not to say this has all been roses. If I hear one more person say "You know you what'll happen next right?" and then look at me with a michieveous grin. "You'll get pregnant!"


Thanks for that little piece of ridiculousness.

And this part of the waiting, can I just say it sucks with a capital S? When you finally cross over with the two lines from a pee stick you enter all new territory. Terrifying for so many people because of all the possible pitfalls. Suddenly they are exposed to all the new possible ways for

We've entered new territory, too.

Sometimes, it is too painful to think about the babies. Literally. They are not here. They are there. They are not in my arms. I am completely and utterly dependent on someone else (who cannot possibly love them as much as we do) to take care of them. To meet their needs.


Yes, yes, yes I knew this intellectually when we started down the road of international adoption. But that didn't mean I knew what I was in for, truly.Can you ever?

That's not to say we don't talk about them constantly. We do! We're debating names (oh boy, Mr. MTL has some seriously jacked ideas for baby boy names), we're talking work schedules, child care issues, feeding, we're reading, we're forum-posting, we're actively doing lots and lots of stuff. And it feels so good to be doing all of those things. But this waiting is hard. This lack of control is hard, especially for this control freak. What? You hadn't picked up on that?

For those of you who want to know the details, right now we are waiting for a court date in Ethiopia. We will be present at that court appointment. This is where it will be determined if the babies are truly available for adoption and if we are truly able to adopt them. Right now we're updating all of the required paperwork for that appointment. If some things had moved a little quicker we wouldn't need to be updating things but it's just the way it worked out. Let me say this: we have been fingerprinted more times than I could ever, ever imagine. Twice this week alone! I am anticipating the court date will be assigned in 5 months or so...yes, five.

After that court date we return home without the babies.

Talk about agonizing. I can't even go there yet.

Then we wait for a second travel assignment and Embassy date. We fly back to Ethiopia and do some more paperwork and then we are allowed to return home. As a full family. Time between the two trips? One month to three months.

Oh please let our paperwork move quickly, let the courts work quickly (they tend to shut down for things like: rain). Let our children be healthy. Right now we're trying to hire an outside doctor to go check on them but even that is difficult.

OK, I'm not going to think about the hard stuff. I'm just going to stare at our referral photos and smile. And smile and smile and smile.

And thank you, my wonderful wonderful blog buddies, for all your beautiful comments. I will treasure them forever and always.


  1. I am so excited for you! I can't imagine the feeling of waiting for babies that I can't see or touch...I can imagine the agony but before you know it, you will have those lil ones in your arms forever!!! I'm praying for some speedy turn around for you all :)

  2. I have so much respect for you and the Mister for choosing this difficult way to complete your family. Thank you, thank you for continuing to chronicle your journey.

  3. Such a long hard wait ahead of you but it must be so wonderful to see a tangible picture of the light at the end of the tunnel. I'll be hoping along with you for some serious speed in your paperwork, court date, etc. I'm just so thrilled for you and can't wait until you have those babies in your arms!

  4. Wow, the ride is moving! I love this. Love it. Also love that you're sort of on our timeline - we were recently presented a referral that we're considering and it's sort of agonizing and thrilling at the same time. A couple in my support group (in NYC) just brought home their daughter from Ethiopia - they only had to do one trip, so I think that's a recent change, right? Relish this preparation and excitement time. I having a feeling 5 months will go very fast.

  5. Reading everything that you have to go through before you can be a whole family makes me all the more upset by comments from morons who say "Why don't you just adopt?", as if that were much easier - not to mention less expensive - than pursuing ART. I admire you so much for taking these steps and am so excited for you to bring those babies home.

  6. What an excruciating wait my dear!!! I cannot imagine have to wait months knowing my babies are growing without me. I am praying for an exceptional speedy turnaround, let's get those babies in your arms where they belong!

  7. Ps... would love to hear hubby's ideas on those names.

  8. Yes, I love to hear baby names!!! I am so excited that this is all finally happening for you, I really wish it would happen much sooner, but I patiently await the post that shows your babies in your arms.

  9. I hope the time flies for you :)

  10. Oh my goodness, this is so exciting!!!

    Are you allowed to visit the babies before your 1st court date? Are you allowed to visit/stay with them after it's been determined that they are in fact allowed to go home with you guys? Or do you need to wait for a final travel date?
    A family. How great it is to say that!!!

  11. It does seem a bit overwhelming, but in a good way if that makes sense. I anticipated the wait being the hardest part too. And I can't imagine having to leave without them the first time. Hang in there though. You've already proven to the world what a strong woman you are. :-)

  12. I hope the court dates come really soon. So happy for you guys. Oh, and I know you won't bring any silverware when you go to Ethiopia...


  13. Isn't it crazy that in trading infertility treatments for adoption we are still waiting, waiting, waiting and out of control? No fair! Ah, but worth it once the babies come home. I hope you get a speedy court date with no snafus along the way. I am so excited for your matches- two at once, how wonderful! Hang in there.

  14. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to not bring your babies home after the first trip but I'm glad you're almost there with your full family of FOUR!!!

  15. i don't think you can ever be prepared for what's next in life. especially when looking in on where you want to be is all you've ever done, there is certainly a high level of oversimplifying and romanticizing that goes on.
    not to say you are simple, it's just that the things we worry about before are never the ones that give us problems during. it's all those little bitty details that we didn't give a second thought.
    you know im hoping for a quick, quick date and those babies in your arms more than anything.
    love and hugs to Mr. and Mrs. MTL and your beautiful babes!

    p.s. i think the jacked-up boys names thing is v common. first off, there aren't as many good boys names as girls and secondly our men turn into these creative naming machines. no, honey, we aren't naming our baby Brick, sorry! lol been there...enjoy it, you'll come up with some beauties im sure.

  16. Wow, you're so right. Understanding the intricacies on an intellectual level is so much different; to hear the love in your post - it makes me ache for and with you... (And makes the phrase "Just Adopt" even MORE infuriating)

    I know there is a long road ahead, but I'm so grateful you're sharing this part of your journey with us.


  17. I was so happy to hear about your success. This is great news. Just try if you can to think about these next 5 months as your "nesting" prepare for these lovely little ones. I think it is great that you are adopting two...for if they ever feel alone and "different" they have each other.

    Also--I can't imagine the obnoxious things that people say. In the books I've been reading on adoption, it's very important to find the right words to talk about this adoption so that the core essence is love regardless of the insensitivity of comments and questions asked. How to do the more difficult path...

  18. How exciting and I know the wait time is excruciating. Like some others have said try to look at this as your time to prepare for your little ones b/c once they are here you won't have much time for preparations! I hate that you have to meet your little ones and then leave them until the next visit but I'm praying that you are one of the lucky ones that only need one visit! So glad you are including us on your journey!!

  19. I am praying for you and your family!!!!

  20. I hope that focusing on all of the preparations helps the time between now and your court date fly by! And I hope the get a close date set soon!! Thanks for continuing to document your journey. This is all just so awesome! I grin everytime you write an update :). We may be in A next month. Maybe we can meet for ice cream or something??

  21. First, thank you, thank you so much for choosing to continue to write about your journey. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be "idle" and wait at the mercy of another country to get things done. It frustrates me to even think about it- and it's not even my journey...
    Second, I laugh at people who say the "you'll get pregnant" thing... I always wonder, what do they think?! That you'd just bail on the adoption? It'd be hard not to just say to those people "What difference would THAT make?"
    At least you've got a good grip on the timeline, and you're actively 'doing' everything you can until your court date. Could you put your timeline up on the sidebar? All the steps, and the dates they've happened, or the steps to come? I'm a list checker, and I'd love to see your "list" get checked off!
    (PS- I did a photo shoot this weekend with a grumpy 1 year old. I opened my laptop and started blaring Leebot songs. He immediately started doing the "baby-booty-shake" dance. Just sayin'... He's on to something, there!!)

  22. This wait is excruciating for ME I can't imagine how you guys feel.

    Ps Teddy was swearing if we ever had another kid he wanted to name him/her Stevie Nix.....

  23. I cannot imagine how difficult the waiting must be. I'm praying that your paperwork gets processed as quickly as possible so that you can bring your two precious darlings home where they belong.


  24. First of all, congrats to you both! I was so excited to see your lines come up. And second, yes, the wait is excruciating. Being dependent on others to get you to your babies is difficult. Tuning out all the things that you dream up that could go wrong is pretty much impossible. I hope you find support here and would happy to talk with you about coping with our wait if that helps (different country, same eternal wait with delay after delay). Do whatever you need to get from now to then. And I know that it feels like forever, but it is temporary - when all is said and done you'll be a mom - x2!

  25. Oh yeah, this is SUCH a weird time! So beautiful in some ways, but such a hard time to be patient.

    I'ts so wonderful hearing you sound so HAPPY. It's like you've been transformed. So wonderful to see.

  26. Ohhhhh I hope the time goes fast- it must be just excruciating. I remember commenting once that I couldn't wait until the day I clicked on your blog and saw good news - what a great day that was! *Now* I can't wait to click on your blog and find out that you've finally held your babies in your arms.

  27. Just wanted to drop by and say *congratulations!!!!!* - sounds like this limbo is a whole new kind of difficult, but still the double-line post (plus being able to picture exactly where you were in NYC!) was amazing!

  28. Oh, had really been wanting a scoop update... was needing a "triple scoop". :-)

    You're "SO GOOD" in bold on this post says it all. Says it all. XO

  29. I hope this process moves quickly! I can't imagine all the emotions and how difficult it must be to have this wait ahead of you. I am so happy for you, though, and so so excited.

    I want to punch all of those "you'll get pregnant" people in the face on your behalf. How annoying!

  30. the waiting must be so difficult since you only have a general timeline! i hope the process goes quicker than expected!
    also, gab has a good friend who moved here from ethiopia less than a year ago and thus speaks does her mom. don't know if this could be useful for you, but if so i could always ask a favor. :)

  31. I'm just catching up with you - it si soooo exciting!! But god, these wait times! it would make me craz too. I really hope for dry weather (haha, keep those courts open!!) and a fast turn-around time. You've waited long enough.

  32. so I'm just catching up after a hiatus, and look what wonderful news! This blog gives me the good chills!

    And what miraculous timing that your referrals are so close in age and were your best Christmas gift ever! And twiblings! I love it!

    I've followed your story for the past two blogs and have always been pulling for you. Once upon a time, I struggled with infertility. Not even close to the struggle you've overcome, but enough so I have a big heart for those in the trenches. I'm so glad to see you where you are now.

    I have a college aquaintance that is adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia, though she's not an IF vet. She chronicles her jouney on her blog. She received her referral Aug 10th and is set to bring her baby home on feb 5th (fingers crossed).
    I'm sure you have plenty of resources already, but here's her story if you are interested: