OMG, a family resemblance?

I have so many posts in the drafts folder right now...I am just all over the place.

• In short--we have raised $3,000 in the fundraiser. Just to make sure everyone knows--this is NOT for our personal fund. This is all for the orphans. We are not doing any personal fundraisers, although we were recently hit with yet another bill (I didn't know it was so expensive to 'purchase' their VISAs!) and I'm getting ever-more-nervous about the last minute notice we'll have to purchase those mega-airline tickets. Yikes. But still, just wanted to let you know that if you purchased a CD or made a donation it will ALL go towards the littlest ones in the world who have few advocates. I wish I could post photos we took of some of them, it would break your hearts.

• We have not heard a peep on our file. It's probably not even AT the U.S. Embassy yet...our agency is still 'working' on it although it is beyond me what they have to do with it. Ugh. I am so sick of this waiting. Yes I know I'm in the home stretch but imagine knowing your babies are out there and you can only wait to hold them. 'Tis a real bitch. And I have to catch myself all.the.time to not just break down and cry over the complete lack of control I have over it.

• We got a new photo yesterday with new weights. Let me just say that they are so small. The 4th and 11th percentiles. I know we can help them catch up but man are they small.

• We also picked names. After much debate and angst. I promise I'll share....soon.

• We finished the nursery. What an undertaking! But I'm really pleased.

• I keep having these little panicked moments that no.one.will.come.to.my.shower. And we need stuff! I worry that I've isolated a lot of fertile friends and now they might just be too annoyed with me to come.

• OK so when I got this photo of little baby girl I immediately thought: she looks just like me! OK, not just like me...but still, do you see the resemblance? I think it's the large forehead, ha. Of course, her ears are much, much more delicate than mine. :)

A little update...

No, we haven't heard from the Embassy. Sigh. I wasn't expecting it or anything but still...a girl can dream.

So...thank you to those of you who have made a donation or purchased a CD, every little bit helps! We're going to start updating the other blog with how much we've raised and what we're trying to purchase. I will say we've still got a ways to go to buy the nebulizers, pulse oximeters, an oven, and of course diapers and formula. But we should be able to get a good, durable heater, hooray!  I have confidence that we'll get there for everything.

Speaking of that, I know you know a lot of fertiles. How do I know this? Because I've read your blogs discussing them :) ! And fertiles have kids, duh. So maybe you can send the http://www.ourbabybots.blogspot.com/ link around to them, as you know they are all dying to be the coolest parents on the block and rock to some Mr. MTL.

In other news I'm in a weird never never land. Shhhhh, I'm having a b-a-b-y s-h-o-w-e-r soon and I'm fairly freaked out. I mean, me? And I don't mean that in an awww shucks sort of way. I just mean, me? Yikes. I don't really like to be the center of attention but alas, I am oozing gratitude from my pores that I get to have a baby shower.

OK just got a little chill writing about that so I'm going to stop now.

And can I just say thank you from the bottom of my heart for the comments on the last post. I know they're beautiful, and I don't think I have my Mom-goggles on. Everyone keeps telling me how lucky they are, but you guys know it's me--I am the lucky one.

I'll never be able to post an immediate post-birth photo, but here's my life-changing moment...right when the nanny handed me our son. Enjoy.

PS Don't forget to send the link around!

Pictures! And Hallelujah!

Government shutdown averted--hooray!

Even better news--we pass.ed Eth.iopi.an Co.urt!!

Yes--that means there are two new MTLs in the world. We received the word late yesterday afternoon, right before going to work at the shelter. We looked at each other and said "Congratulations Mommy and Daddy!" and then prayed that the U.S. Government wouldn't let us down. Now we hurry up and wait for the U.S. Emb.assy to process our babies' vi.sas.

Which means that I can show you their photos, but I will only leave them up for a while (don't ask). I think they are adorable, don't you agree?

And now, we launch the fundraiser for their Ethiop.ian brothers and sisters. So please, if you are so inclined, for a mere $10 plus shipping you can purchase a one of the hub's CDs to help support the other orphans. Heck, if you're so inclined you can purchase one zillion :) 

Here is the link to the blog page we made for CD sales. There you can preview our special song "Our Family" (on the CD, and yes, I'm singing on it too) and link to previews of all the other electro-rocking songs. Think Devo-for-kids kind of music!

OurBabyBots.blogspot.com

Please share the link--our hope is that everyone will share it multiple times on FB, blogs, emails, etc. and we can really generate some much needed supplies for the orphans!  And obviously I know not everyone reading here has kids or has any interest in a kids' music CD, but maybe you know someone who would?

Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.

Love,
The MTL Family

1,000 Steps Back

So today was supposed to be a happy post.
A "we passed court" HOORAY type of post, where I would show off pictures of my lovelies.

I have been so good lately, despite this latest court debacle, despite having things delayed two unnecessary weeks (which in terms of my babies' lives and mine is an eternity). For months now I have been able to tolerate pregnant women, fertiles, babies, happy families--I have been ok. I have felt healed.

Until this morning. When I realized that if the federal government shuts down all international adoptions will come to a grinding halt.

So it won't matter if we pass court (still haven't heard by the way, though it was supposed to happen this morning). The U.S. Embassy won't be working on visas, plain and simple.

Orphans will languish in orphanages for however long it takes to get this budget crap figured out, and the line grows longer and longer so that when they reopen there will be a huge backlog. Lovely. Lovely.

Seventeen years ago the federal government shut down for 21 days. Mr. MTL was a federal employee at the time, we were newlyweds by a few months, and he had this sudden vacation. I was also sicker than I'd ever been in my life and he took care of me and it all worked out and we were just out a little pay.

What are the odds that seventeen years later, on the very day that we should be having our case forwarded to the United States Government that the United States Government would shut down?

We have our theories. It's because the Mr. and Mrs. MTL signed up and it seems that despite trying to live pretty decent lives we get kicked in the teeth quite a bit when it comes to family building.

I woke up so happy. I had plans to go to the mall and do some baby clothes shopping. Mostly for others but one little bitty tiny mod swimsuit had finally gone on sale and I wanted to buy it for baby girl. By the time I dragged myself to the mall I had regressed to the angry infertile I used to be, the girl I don't like too much, the girl that makes me depressed and sad. I was shooting daggers at every Mom I saw--I could care less if she struggled to get there the point is her baby is here.

Here.

Not there.

Not potentially held up in limbo while stupid government officials battle it out.

I couldn't buy the clothes that were to be gifts. They didn't even have the swimsuit in the right size. Looking at tiny baby clothes overwhelmed me like it used to and I just had to leave.

I told the Mr. I am on the verge of a major breakdown. I can feel the dam starting to give and believe me, there is a force behind it so great I am just not sure what might happen when it finally goes.

Tonight we're working at the shelter so I guess I'll have to hold it together for that. But the rest of the weekend, if the government does indeed shut down, you can find me curled into a ball on the couch sucking my thumb, ok?

And yes, I know the government shutdown is not necessarily going to happen. But really? Shouldn't I prepare myself for the worst at this point?

PS And if it really shuts down over funding for Planned Parenthood you might just had to admit me to the rubber room. Do.not.even.get.me.started.