Sunday, October 2, 2011

Scattered

I feel like this post is going to be scattered, and probably long, so go ahead and get a cup of coffee. Or a Diet Coke. I'll wait.

And yes, forgive me for bullet points. I have exactly 14.5 minutes until two sleeping Africans become two boisterously awake Africans and so bullet points will have to do.

  • Sleeping. Thank you for the advice. Honestly. I enjoyed reading everyone's opinions. I had a total DUH moment a couple of times. We are down to one feeding a night--hooray! Basically some of you were right, we had to offer more formula during the day. However, it's interesting to see how they can really push that bottle away if they simply don't want it, no matter how badly I want them to want it/drink it during daylight hours so they won't need it/want it during the nighttime hours. They basically take a few ounces before morning nap (here is where I wish they would take more), 7-8 oz before afternoon nap, 8 oz when we rock them before bedtime, and then they wake up for 7-8 oz anywhere from 2:30 to 4:30 in the AM. We will probably start gradually reducing the nighttime offering too. But waking up once, and sometimes after 5-6 solid hours of sleep for us (we go to bed at 9 pm now, ha) feels heavenly. And they really pack away the solids too, for the most part. But every day is different.
  • I went back to work this past week. Three full days (I leave at 6:45 am and return at 5 pm, DH gets home at 4:30 pm). The babies wake up at 6:10ish so I get to play with them before I leave. Which means I get up at about 5:15 to get myself ready.
    • Sub-bullet time (fancy schmancy!). I cried the first day. I did not cry the second two days.
    • I am really enjoying work time. Yes, I realize it was the first week back and in another month I'll probably loathe work. But for now....
    • I feel like I fail one million times a day as a mother, but at work, I know what I'm doing. I'm ordering lab, writing prescriptions, explaining test results, chatting with coworkers (oh! adult conversations, how I've missed thee so!) and while I may not be perfect at it, I'm better at it than I am as a mother, at least in terms of errors made.  
    • I love coming home to them.
    • I love my two full days with them on my own, and of course love the weekends when we're all together.
    • The nanny is great with the babies.
    • My heart broke a million times over when I saw how, on the third day, they were so excited to see the nanny. I guess the alternative is worse, but still....
    • The nanny is not so good with the housekeeping. Granted, it's not her primary job, but I don't really relish coming home to extra work created by her. Clean up your food prep mess for goodness sake!
    • I don't like being a boss....argh.
  • Patients. As in, mine. I had two photos of the babies in my office. It was all the patients wanted to talk about. I had to redirect conversations a million times over. And if I hear how lucky my babies are one more time I am going to lose it. That's a whole other post. And yes, I know it is said with nice intentions, but they aren't lucky. I promise to post that post (written weeks ago and tucked away in my drafts file, soon).
  • When do other people clean? My DH and I just nearly broke our backs trying to get the whole house cleaned while they napped. Our daughter hates loud noises so we have to wait until she's really asleep or out of the house with the other parent to vacuum and run the hard floor scrubber. Otherwise I feel like my standards for cleaning are going by the wayside, and anyone who knows me knows this stresses me out.
  • Cold fronts. It will only hit 90 degrees here this week and honestly, folks, it feels like a blizzard. This morning for our morning run it was 58 degrees and I had to put the babies in little jackets. And I kid you not, there is nothing more adorable than the little man in his Paul Frank zip up hoodie (thanks Kim!). Nothing. At least, I challenge you to find something more adorable. Did I get a photo? No.
  • Running. I only get to do it four days a week now. Simply can't go on a work morning. I miss it. I had never run for so many consecutive days ever before, without missing one. Oh well, all good things must come to an end.
  • Weight loss. After three days of just sitting at a desk and then resuming full time Mom duties on Thursday, I quickly realized why I lost weight. Oh.My.God. I never sit down. Except now, when I'm typing at 105 wpm trying to get all my thoughts out on a random blog post. But it's ok, because I probably should have been at this weight for years. But having to buy all new pants and skirts is somewhat annoying because who has time to shop anymore?
  • Hiking. We took the babies hiking yesterday. To the trails where we used to run, all.the.time. I had a heart clench moment when DH was talking to the babies and said "Mom and Dad used to run here all the time, and all we would talk about was you. And now you're here, with us." Oh man, what a moment.
  • Concerts. Mr. Lee.bot had a show the other day and I was able to take the babies with the help of their Aunt Stacey. He called us onto the stage and sang "Our Family." Our son reached for the guitar, smiling as his Dad sang a song written about him. I held it together guys, I actually did. But inside I was sobbing tears of gratitude and joy listening to him sing the words "Our family, looks different but we're still, our family."
  • Prunes. DH learned the hard way that a little prunes goes a long way in helping intestinal issues of certain babies. I won't go into any other details because, really? Disgusting.
  • Photos. I will now post some, in the 7.5 minutes I have until they wake (how do I know when they'll wake? They really, really are on a schedule!)


I can't decide how I feel about my hoodie.
Help! I'm being swallowed by this backpack!
All headphones, no pants.
Dad, I'm not a dumbell.
Two of a kind.
(why am I standing weird?)
Who is this NY people keep telling us about?

13 comments:

  1. So glad things are going better for you with the sleeping! I so hate being the boss too (of the nanny)! Nothing is worse than have to tell them to do something, like clean up a little more. I struggle with that so bad!

    Thanks for posting pics, they are so adorable!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Really look forward to your posts and pictures.

    As a former nanny my suggestion is just to be up front about any issues you have. Keeping an open conversation about how she feels and you feel will keep a happy balance and hopefully a clean home when you return. I never did housekeeping as a nanny but it was always in my job description to clean up after the babies and keep baby areas clean and safe.

    In another bullet point I understand your point about the use of the word 'lucky' to describe your babies. I get annoyed by the word miracle when people describe my baby. To me that word discredits all the science and doctors that went into my IVF experience. But, that's just me and my atheistic view point.

    Love, Love, Love the head phone picture!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lovely photos!

    About the cleaning - I am a SAHM and my baby is soon14 mo. I have only just recently started to have a cleaner house. My son didn't like me hoovering unless I held him, and it made everything so much harder. Now I struggle with the tidying up, I swear things and clothes jump up behind my back and have meetings in the oddest of places, all with the help of certain little persons, with two and four legs. Still, there is something so heart melting about finding tiny wellies, building blocks, cat toys, napkins and tupperware all arranged in a row leading from the kitchen to the livingroom. I can soooo deal with this kind of mess. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. They look so much bigger! Love the NY onesies, so cute!

    And I'm sorry if I've used the word lucky to describe you and your babes - I know I have. I just think they are lucky to have you, and you them - you and the Mister are clearly wonderful parents and its a happy, wonderful thing that your family gets to do all the great things you guys do. I feel lucky to be a mom every day, maybe by lucky I mean thankful? I dunno, I know I feel lucky every day to know my daughter, and I'm sure you must feel that way about your beautiful kids.

    As for the cleaning...well...let's just say I wouldn't want any non-parents over to my house right about no. The new parents get it though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It all sounds wonderfully chaotic to me! You are doing a great job! And I love the pics! The four of you are lucky to be a family, how's that?

    ReplyDelete
  6. So cute - especially the headphones picture. I don't get on here much anymore because I am too busy with my boys. Glad things are going so well. I will try to send you a picture.

    T

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOVE how chubby they're looking! I just want to *squeeze* them!

    We clean when the kids are down, hence we only half-watch tv. It gets worse before it gets easier because once they're fully mobile it's impossible to keep up until they're old enough to be able to clean up too. All those tiny handprints every where and the random toy in the random place will make you smile though.

    They're lucky and unlucky at the same time. We get that too. The stories of the unlucky and unlucky ones just break my heart so I happily smile at the lucky comments.

    And work is a great, different measuring stick to measure yourself by. That's why I love it. I know what I'm doing there most of time.

    Your story about Mr. Leebot made me cry. So sorry we missed the show. Such a huge moment.

    B

    ReplyDelete
  8. I find the lack of time to clean really difficult too. I'm always doing it, but it is NEVER done. Hard, hard, hard. Trying to let go and realise that it's just for a season. One day this house will be quiet again, and perfectly clean. For now... this is the way it is .

    (notice how I'm deliberately NOT doing the whole 'oh, it doesn't matter because we're so blessed to have children' thing? Because actually, it IS really hard to not have the time I want to do the things I need! Guessing you feel the same way too).

    ReplyDelete
  9. They are just so gorgeous! I came late to the sleeping post but Lily started sleeping through the night really well when we started adding a bit of rice cereal to her last bottle.... I can't even imagine how amazing it must have been to hear your hubs sing about your family, it brought tears to my eyes!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I LOVE the pictures, they seriously just keep getting cuter. I'm glad you are enjoying going back to work--I can imagine it's nice to have a bit of a balance. And I wish we could have been at the concert! If he ever does a Seattle show, let us know. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. They are the most adorable babies I've seen in a long time, and I'm a children's photographer. And I'm not just saying it, I mean it. Adorbs.

    Here's some (completely unsolicited and therefore ignorable) advice: Stop keeping track of your shortcomings as a mother. Because for real- you will kill yourself. Is all you remember of your child hood the times that your parents disappointed you, did the "wrong" thing, etc? Heck no. Theirs won't be either. But if you spend time beating yourself up over it, they'll remember that. Self abuse is not a trait you want to see your children mimic, right? Start repeating what you've done RIGHT. :)

    It's good to enjoy work- it's a constant for you. And yes- the "lucky" comments are well intended, but for the record I would say the same thing about any living thing that enters your home. Any person who gets to know you, see how sweet you are, can see the intent of your hearts- they are luckier for having known you. (Or "blessed" but I believe I know how that word makes you feel too! hehe)

    Housework: I don't have the answer. I stopped doing it 3 years ago. :) I went from having a clean home to an acceptable one. Well, 'semi-acceptable'. Sometimes. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Most of the time I honestly don't feel like I have the option of being a "SAHM" but I think even if I did, I would enjoy working. I think I am good at my job, and I know I help people and it makes me feel good at the end of the day, which I think makes me a better mother....On, another topic I have always been very private about pictures of my kid, and Warren...in my office there is one picture of them that is only a picture of their Chuck Taylored feet...I don't want my patients focusing on my kid or my husband because it should be about them...but I do admit I have very FIRM bounderies. Tracy

    ReplyDelete
  13. Cutest.Kids.Ever!!!!!! Love, Jenelle

    ReplyDelete