Thursday, January 12, 2012

I'm taking photos

I'm not sure what to write here anymore.
I don't know if I should still be blogging at all.
I do love to write, I know that. But I know I don't make the time for it or give it its due.
I wrote this post about zero population growth but realized it might offend anyone with more than two kids. Scratch that because that wasn't the intent. The intent was to show the irony of me, the girl who fought so hard to pass on her piddly genetics, to procreate, to make more babies when--to borrow a brilliant line from Paul Simon--the planet groans every time it registers another birth, and who finally relented to the voice inside of her that had been telling her so long to go a different route, that there is no such thing as better, only different, and now I've just written a ridiculously long sentence that encapsulates the heart of that post and I'm not sure where I was going anyway.

Oh yeah, to blog anymore or not? I'm not really an adoption blogger, I'm definitely not an infertility blogger, I'm not really a Mom-blogger, and I don't know how to be just a regular blogger. I'm not one of those adorable blogger who posts adorable iPhone photos every few days of her perfect life in pictures.

Oh wait. I do have some adorable iPhone pictures to share, those will come. I can say they're adorable because they're of the babies, not me. Hello.

I could be a sort of manic depressive Mom blogger...meaning, some days I have these higher than high type posts that I write in my head where I'm on top of the world and everyone is napping and pleasant and happy and eating well and my house is clean and I'm baking and I'm working and I'm not tired and I'm exercising and then it will all vanish--POOF!--in a flash when someone throws me for a loop and I realize I'm at best, a marginal parent, who is short on patience and suddenly I'm tired and I'm too fat and I'm not cooking enough and I'm not volunteering and I'm not balancing anything and then I'm lowest of lows and I write that post in my sad little brain. Does that sound interesting?

I will say this: I am currently in love with my Nanny. I would like for her to move in and live with us like Alice on the Brady Bunch. Seriously. The three days a week she is here are wonderful. The babies probably miss her when it's four days with Yours Truly, ha.

Of course she's amazing with the babies, that's the priority. But she also sweeps, swiffers, wipes down counters, leaves the high chairs cleaner than I'd seen them in recent months, and most importantly, doesn't get into my stuff. Yeah, I realize that's pretty basic--that last one about my stuff--and I won't go into details here, but our first nanny had a wee bit of a Single White Female kind of thing happening and I grew tired of coming home to realize she'd been in my closet or my drawers in my bathroom. Gives me the shivers just typing that.

Back to the good nanny--she is also doing things I hadn't thought of. I am not too proud to admit I am not an expert in child development and while I do a fair amount of reading I am always hitting others up for their opinions and advice. The good nanny helped us transition from two naps to one in a way I hadn't considered which--knock wood--seems to be working and the other day I came home to find two brilliant works of art created by H&H with finger paints. Finger paints with a 13 and 14 month old? I would have never ventured there.

And there was no mess to speak of. Ahhhhhhh. No mess.

I am not sure how this post evolved into a nanny post but it did, and I love her. She's also an amateur photographer and here are the shots she texted me yesterday while I was at work that brought tears to my eyes.

Can you stand it?

Just playing in our backyard.

So I don't know what to do. Write here. Not write here. Post adoralbe iPhone photos or not post adorable iPhone photos. Rant, not rant, manic depressively write about my experiences as a parent...I just don't know. One time I opened my old blog up to a Q&A and that was pretty interesting, I guess I'm open to that again if there's anyone interested enough to ask a question.



  1. Well, first off - BABY TEETH!!! Is there anything cuter? Sigh....

    And I'd love to hear more about the down to one nap thing - I can use all the help I can get there. And any other nanny smarts you want to pass on.

    I never really like those perfect picture/life blogs. I never really believe them anyway. So I vote for the manic-depressive blog. That sounds like I blog I could relate to. Hahaha.

  2. I would love to hear about your ventures with your babes, good or bad, just reality and of course pictures!!! We waited for so long for you to have your babes that we would hate to not hear the happy ending stories.

  3. Personally, I don't care what you write about, just that you continue to write! I thoroughly enjoy reading about your experiences (parenting and otherwise)! Pictures are always fun, too!

  4. please write here. about anything. you would be sorely missed if you stopped...


  5. yep, just continue, please. we don't need to see perfect pictures or posts. just you - up, down, ranting, raving, cheering, whatever. also, i find that pressure to write long posts freezes me up. maybe just a blurb here or there would help you - may cut back on the second guessing.

  6. Keep blogging, please! Love the pictures, the rants, whatever! Keep it coming!

  7. didja get the diet COKE t shirt that was sent?

    ya, I stalk some, just kidding

  8. Would love to see you post whatever is going on in your life- you would be missed! Love the photos.

  9. Please keep blogging! I would hate to lose touch with you. I have waited so long to see you with your beautiful babies and would enjoy continuing to see your success at parenting and their beautiful happy pictures. JulesH

  10. I dont care what you weite about as long as you write! Those are some seriously cute abyes!

  11. Well, before you write anything else, I would like to know about the one-nap solution! And I agree with the idea of doing shorter posts if it helps. And cute baby pics are always appreciated!

  12. I'll read your blog regardless of the topic--it's your blog write whatever you feel like, some people may quit reading but at the same time you'll gain new readers.

  13. Another vote for keep on writing.
    It would be a shame not to! And we have been rooting for you so long, now you wanna leave us? Not. Fair! :-)
    And the ones who gloss over the difficulties ofp arenting are bs-ing through and through. Just because you want them and love them and do everything for them it dies not mean that having kids, or better said parenting does not have highs and lows.
    And please, share nanny tips! God knows we all need help... Well, I for one, do.

  14. I would love to see future posts about mom stuff, or adoption stuff, or nanny stuff, or whatever else is going on. You always have good insight--and the cutest babies around. Glad you got a new nanny, she sounds great (and the old one a bit strange). Q&A would be fun, too.

  15. Please keep writing! I think it is such a happy ending when people finally wind up with babies (or a baby) after a long struggle, and I enjoy hearing how things are going. Just write about normal life....the babies, balancing work and home, child development, fun, stress, etc. We like it all. Thanks for sharing. Heather

  16. Yes! Blog unless you don't like to do it anymore!

    I think any blog about kids kind of ends up being a mommy blog, but the good ones aren't JUST about parenting. I say, just keep going and throw in some adorable photos along the way.


  17. Keep writing. About whatever you want. It's good therapy, at least for me. The photos are adorable and I want your nanny too.

  18. Ah yes.... parental bipolar disorder, I know it well!

    The transition from pre-baby to post-baby blogging is hard. I know this is sort of self-evident, but blogging should either be fun or at least rewarding (through connections, or whatever). If it's not, don't feel guilty about not doing it just because we would miss you - you have ENOUGH going on! I know that a lot of your readers are in a very different place from you, and that must bring its own pressures. But my advice is to think about what you would blog about if you were starting from scratch and anonymous (and therefore totally honest) and then just write that. And accept that it might not be what everybody wants to read. I had some people unsubscribe from me recently and I think maybe they were expecting a few more posts on ethics and a bit less about antidepressants. Meh - it's my blog. But there is definitely pressure (if you've been blogging for a while) to keep people happy. I do my best to ignore it, but it's hard.

    ps - the babies are getting cuter every day!

  19. Write, write, write! Please keep writing, about whatever you want to. You don't have to fit into any category. You are just you, and we all love reading what you have to say.

    And yes, could you share the nanny wisdom too? She sounds wonderful!

  20. I think it's great if you kept writing. I think when we write, we don't realize how many people are nodding their heads at our words or in simliar situations. You don't know how many readers you have that might be facing the same difficulties as you, or background understanding as you. It's your blog, make it your mommy blog, make it your cooking blog, make it whatever you want! But it seems the majority of your comments are people wanting to continue sharing in your writing and your life. :) Says a lot about you and your heart.

    Speaking of heart, those pictures are adorable. They have so much love and warmth in them. Tell the nanny to keep it up!

  21. Keep blogging about those beautiful babies!!!

  22. I really enjoy reading your blog and I hope you still write at least once in awhile so I can see those beautiful children :-)
    Amy x

  23. You sound exactly like a mom with twins. The wonderful rollercoaster of multiples. You're doing great. Keep at it!

  24. Like you said..."I like to write". And so the girl should keep writing!!!

  25. I would miss you if you stopped writing. Last Chance IVF was one of the first blogs that I stumbled upon :) I sometimes wonder about my pen pal from the fourth grade, so I would for sure always wonder how you were doing. (We didn't discuss such deep topic in fourth grade. Lol.)

  26. A little late to the game, but I'd miss you if you stopped writing. I am kind of in the same boat, so my vote is to just write a out whatever. That's my plan, once I have time to write...

  27. Hello old friend. I am so glad to have found you again. Shannon shared your site with me. I am so very happy for you. Two sweet angels, what a blessing!!! I can really relate to your blog entries. Motherhood is consuming, exhausting, wonderful, hysterical, and messy all at the same time. I would love to hear your thought but I understand that time is limited with two under two. I miss you and I am so glad that you have fulfilled your dream of motherhood. Please do keep in touch. Love, Jenelle

  28. Finally able to comment again - yea! This is me being totally selfish, but I really really hope you won't stop blogging. You don't have to be an adoption blogger or infertility blogger or mom blogger or any other category of blogger - you're you, and your voice comes through on your blog, which is all that matters.

    I do think you (and others who have struggled to become parents for an extended period of time) have a different perspective on parenting than people who are able to build their family without any challenges. And that is a valuable thing, both for other parents in similar shoes and those of us still working to get to that point. So, like I said, selfish, but there it is - I hope you continue.

  29. forget's sounds like you are ready for the world of facebook now ;). am i the only one that dislikes the one sided interaction of blogs? i mean, i like reading...don't get me wrong, but let's say i want to ask where you got that adorable outfit for H...on facebook i'd know by the end of the day...possible minutes later. however, with a blog...i'll probably never know because i wouldn't ask, but let's say i did ask....i might find out weeks from now...assuming you responded and i checked back to see the response. by then, the store would be sold out!
    okay, what you enjoy doing. that's really the answer for anything of this nature! :)

  30. i haven't been reading, commenting or writing.
    if you ever quit blogging i will be so sad.
    love to see your happy babies, they are gorgeous!