The post where I'm all over the place

First of all, thank you for your kind words on my last post. I should clarify that the discontinued meds were in no way life-sustaining, just deemed no longer necessary. It just felt so concrete, to discontinue those meds.

I will now commence with using bullets to give you some random updates from my life recently, some noteable notes, if you will:

• I guest lectured at my alma mater the other week. It was strange walking those halls again, being the supposed expert, answering the questions about my career. The faculty that introduced me told the class about the adoption at the end and that ended up being the thing they were most interested in...go figure!
• I ran a half marathon the other morning, on a whim. It wasn't an official race, mind you, I just kept running and running until I hit 13.1 miles and then I stopped. I did the whole thing in the dark. I texted the mister at mile 12 just to make sure he was fine with the kiddos (they are early risers!) and he said to keep on going. So I did. Now I wish I had just run until I couldn't go anymore vs. stopping at the 13.1..you know, just to see how far I could've gone. Maybe 13.2? Ha.
• We sort of got back to volunteering at the shelter. I say "sort of" because our nanny got sick after she started and after we were already almost there, so the hubs had to go back home and I stayed behind. It turns out that one person can serve 100 homeless men if the situation demands it--but I'm sure I was quite a sight racing back and forth between the entree, the salad, the sides, and getting the hot trays back from the dishwasher. I did have some help from one of the homeless guys who has permission to work in the kitchen and he was quite a character. We're going to make another attempt soon.
• We found a new babysitter--a local high schooler that is a lot cheaper more economical than our nanny for nights out. She basically sits there on our sofa while the babies sleep. We are endeavouring to go out more at times when they are asleep so as not to take away from family time. I am very excited about this endeavour. We need to get out more. If only I didn't have such an early curfew :)
• I am reading three books right now:
• The Center Cannot Hold: riveting.
• BossyPants by Tina Fey: hilarious.
• Left to Tell: ok I haven't actually started it yet but it looks intense.
• OK by 'reading' I mean every night I crawl into bed at 8:30 (!) and read for max thirty minutes before I'm out like a light until my iPhone wakes me to run at 3:45.
• We saw a movie! An actual movie! Yes, it was "The Hunger Games." I gave it an 8.
• The toddlers (I can't call them babies anymore) continue to thrive. I need to dedicate an entire post to their updates, but suffice it to say they run everywhere and chatter up a storm and mostly sleep like a dream. I say mostly because right.this.very.second as I type I can see them on the monitor, rolling around, kicking, talking, etc. and they have been in their cribs for 45 minutes. Very unusual as they usually conk right out at night. No se.
• We went to Ethiopian Culture Day with them and it was amazing to be surrounded by beautiful Ethiopian people. It is good to be in the minority every now and again and see your children in the majority.
• Our cat is going back on Prozac. Um, yeah. That's all I'll say about that. OK I'll add: does anyone want a cat?
• I decided to make Hello Kitty cakeballs the other day. We were going to a three year old's Hello Kitty birthday party and I realized how much I miss baking and creating and voila! Here you go:

And that about sums up the past couple of weeks around Casa de MTL. What's new with you?

Gone From My Sight

Today they took my Dad off of most of his medications.
He doesn't need them anymore.
Comfort care only.

I understand, I really do.
I want nothing more than for my Dad to be released from this existence; while he's not in acute pain, he's suffering.  Anyone who disagrees with me please don't comment here. If you saw him and had any idea, I don't think you could be a compassionate human being and disagree.

He doesn't know me. He doesn't know my babies. He only sometimes knows my Mom. He barely talks, he sleeps away most of his days. He's eating less.

Signs, all of them, but we really never know.


Soon, he will be gone from my sight. I do know this.

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"
"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"
And that is dying.

Thank you, Henry Van Dyke.