Thursday, April 5, 2012

Gone From My Sight

Today they took my Dad off of most of his medications.
He doesn't need them anymore.
Comfort care only.

I understand, I really do.
I want nothing more than for my Dad to be released from this existence; while he's not in acute pain, he's suffering.  Anyone who disagrees with me please don't comment here. If you saw him and had any idea, I don't think you could be a compassionate human being and disagree.

He doesn't know me. He doesn't know my babies. He only sometimes knows my Mom. He barely talks, he sleeps away most of his days. He's eating less.

Signs, all of them, but we really never know.


Soon, he will be gone from my sight. I do know this.

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"
"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"
And that is dying.

Thank you, Henry Van Dyke.

32 comments:

  1. I wish I could reach across the miles and give you a big hug. I can't imagine watching a loved one suffer like that. Huge hugs my friend. Huge hugs.

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  2. Oh I am so so sorry. Thinking of you.

    Mo

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  3. thinking of you. and your father. and your mother.

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  4. so sorry, thinking of you and your father. so much love to you guys

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  5. I'm so very sorry. Saying goodbye is never easy, especially with someone you love so dearly. May you and your family find peace during this time.

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  6. Im so sorry. Thinking of you and sending you love.

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  7. Oh, I'm so, so sorry to hear this. I love that quote, what a beautiful way of looking at something so difficult. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

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  8. I am so sorry. Losing the one we love is gutting. I only hope that his death is quick and as painless as possible. Being mortal is no fun, d@mnit.

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  9. I am so very sorry. That is a beautiful image though. I am wishing you all the strength you will need to get through this difficult time.

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  10. Oh, I'm very sorry too. Simply not fair. The quote is beautiful. I love the last paragraph, "Her diminished size is in me, not in her." I hope you find comfort in knowing that he will be restored in the presence of God. Still, my tears know this is very hard for you. Praying for peace...

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  11. I'm really sorry and you are in my thoughts.
    Amy xxx

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  12. I think the decision you've all made is the most compassionate thing you could do. And the bravest. Letting go is never easy and I wish you and your family all the peace and strength in the world. Sending big, warm hugs your way.

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  13. Keeping you, your family, especially your Dad in my prayers. May God grant all of you the strength that you'll need to get through this difficult time. ((hugs))

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  14. So so sorry, and just as sorry to say i too have been there. We had to make the "compassionate" decision fr my mom as well. It is so hard to put into words, but what you have written is close to how my heart felt.

    I pray for you and your family, and push to you the strength needed at this time. Bless you.

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  15. Oh my dear. I'm sending you a big hug. I'm so sorry for the pain you're experiencing.

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  16. Sweet wishes to you, my dear. The idea of the ship is beautiful, though when you are the one left on shore that image of a disappearing horizon is heart-pangingly sad.

    He has been so well-loved and appreciated, as a parent I can say that is really all I would want to be sure of in the end. I am absolutely sure he knows it, too.

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  17. That is such a lovely quote. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Will be thinking of all of you - it must have been so hard to leave.

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  18. Thinking of you and your family at this tough time. Hoping you are all able to find peace. Big hugs.

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  19. Wishing you all peace and love.

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  20. I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I know this is a time of such mixed emotion. Thinking of you and wishing you peace.

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  21. MTL...sorry been a hectic several days...and continues to be. I am saddened to read this news. May all the prayers and thoughts of your fellow bloggers get you through these tough days ahead. Wishing you peace in your heart soon.

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  22. (hugs)

    I know. It's awful. I wish you peace.

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  23. Reading that quote really gave me chills. What a beautiful sentiment. It is so hard to see this happen to someone we love. I'm very sorry about your dad and wish you strength and peace. Heather

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  24. I just wanted to come back and let you know I'm thinking of your family - especially your Mom. Lots of love to you.

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  25. This quote brought tears to my eyes, but ultimately comfort. My mother passed away last month, my dad just a few years before, and for both the decision had to be made to only make them comfortable and in that, let them go. It takes more strength than I've ever known, so in that I understand. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  26. During my dear grandmother's final hours of comfort care we played Chopin for her and volunteers came to sing to her, to let her know that it was okay to go, that we loved her.

    Wishing you peace in this difficult time, embracing the circle of life, birth, to death and all the joys and sorrows in between.

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  27. What a beautiful description! I am so sorry that you are experiencing this loss. It is so hard to let go of a loved one, but a parent especially. Wishing you peace and strength in the days ahead.

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