Saturday, August 27, 2011

F'ing monkey

I have about six different draft posts right now but alas, I thought I'd share a little diddy about parenthood with the MTLs.

So...bedtime rituals have been established since the get-go and honestly, have overall worked out pretty well. Most nights, the Mister and I are sitting down to a quiet, grown-up meal by 7:15 pm. Now, it does bear pointing out that this is because the meals themselves didn't have to be cooked from scratch.they were meals from that delicious stockpile I froze prior to our trip, or from generous friends who made such things as artichoke spinach lasagna, so no real time was spent in preparation.

Ahhh, 7:15 pm how we loved you so. It was quiet. We could sit down. We could eat (and as anyone who knows us in real life can tell you, the MTLs do love to eat!). We could zone out while watching reruns of the Sopranos, or more recently dive into Project Runway (hello? I love me some Tim Gunn).

But lately, the past five nights or so, change has been in the air. No idea what prompted it but I'm fairly certain the babies are in cahoots with each other because they both decided, with no warning to us, to start holding rodeos in their cribs after they were laid down. During the normally peaceful rock in the rockers while drinking a delicious warm bottle of formula they decided to arch and kick and dance and sometimes squeal. They weren't crying, they just weren't relaxing. And thus laying down in the crib just invited more shenanigans.

So yeah, they didn't start off crying, but sort of ended up crying, and the thing is, with two babies, if one cries you freak out and don't want the other to hear and be disrupted so you probably do things a little differently, rush in a little quicker, try to appease the upset baby with, well, pretty much anything at some points.

After the fourth night the Mr. and I were at our wits end (I know, cry me a river). But we just couldn't figure out what went wrong, what was different (nothing!). It was mission critical time yet again, time to lay our daughter down, and she seemed to be ready. The Mr. held his breath and went to lay her in her crib, hoping for no rodeos and a peaceful drift off to a nice deep slumber like she had always done before.

I stood watching in the doorway, having already laid down our son who was mercifully being quiet...we were almost there! Almost there!

And then.

Where is the f'ing monkey? Mr. MTL didn't shout this (of course not!), but he mouthed-shouted and I could clearly make out what he was saying.

The pink Paul Frank sock monkey that our daughter clutches within an inch of its life when she falls asleep. The monkey! Where the eff was the monkey?

I dropped to my all fours and crawled across the room, desperately scanning under the cribs, under the dresser, under the changing table, everywhere, trying to stay under my son's radar (he has quite the ability to sense our presence in the room and then bam! pop up over the bumper pad, which is at once annoying as heck but incredibly cute), and met the Mr, who had laid our daughter down sans monkey and was desperately trying to figure out what to do next.

It felt like minutes, but I'm sure it was only seconds before I saw him belly crawl across the room to their toy storage and yank out another stuff animal, belly crawl back to the crib (remember: we can't let our son see us, hence all the belly crawling) and stuff it quickly into our daughter's arms, hoping beyond hope that she won't know the difference.

Of course I notice, but before it was too late, that the particular stuffed animal he grabbed was a dog. A barking dog, you know, one of those that if you squeeze in the middle you'll be rewarded with a ridiculous yappy bark.

Oi vey.

She clutched the dog within an inch of its life (maybe the monkey wasn't so special after all?) and we collectively exhaled. Of course we were inwardly gasping for breath, you know, from all the strenous belly crawling everywhere.

We slunk out of the room. I spent an hour worrying that that dog would start yapping and all would be lost, but alas, they slept.

We made it to our safe haven of a living room where we scarfed some food and I drank a--you guessed it!--Diet Coke. Ahhh, aspartame and artificial caramel coloring, how you soothe the tired soul.

So I leave you with two pictures:
I told you she loves that monkey, though in this photo she has clearly loosened her death grip.

This makes me happy.


  1. Buy another monkey. Seriously. It was always on our to-do list and now they have discontinued Ava's beloved bunny. Not that she can't sleep without it, but, she would have a hard time after the 3rd night or so (even at 5). You need one just for back-up. Especially once the monkey gets to leave the room and travel places. I love that she loves it. Her chubby little arm on it just melts me.

  2. Oh yeah, I've experienced the belly crawling! What we'll do to not wake the little one!

  3. LOL! Yeah, we've experienced the same thing only it isn't the fing money, but the fing iPod--Elliot is a white noise addict. And like you, we've resorted to using an alternative in a pinch as well (iPhone).

  4. Aren't they just the sweetest thing ever when they sleep? I still do that with DD but I can't take sleeping pics anymore bc she will wake up but I stand and look over her and my heart just melts! Oh...and that monkey is very similar to the one my hubbe wanted to send daughter is addicted to it. Its not a paul frank, but its the same shape and length, though a little furrier and she will not let go of it...and I've had nights of running around furiously looking for that thing before she notices he isn't in bed (while hubby tries to keep her distracted and still sleepy).

  5. THis is hilarious.....oh how we plan and try to figure out how to create routines or which routines work....only for the little ones to decide...NOPE this IS NOT my routine anymore. Precious picture! (Runningmama from More Room in my Heart)

  6. Awww, sock monkey love!! The Diet Coke stockpile cracked me up! We will be in Austin end of Sept & the Flying Golden Pigs can't wait to finally meet the MTL's!

  7. LOL!! Ahhhhh, so great, these bits of parenthood you could have never predicted. But it is the good stuff, stories like that. We have our routines too, and if they go off, even a bit, well, we have rodeos (or maybe mosh pits?) in our crib too. And don't ya love 7:15? I tend to go for the glass of wine vs diet coke, but they both serve their purpose, right?

  8. How funny!!! I can't wait for moments like this. Sounds like you two are awesome problem solvers!!!

  9. I LOVED this post!! LisainSK

  10. Once my daughter started taking her special doll around with her, out in the world, it was so nervewracking keeping up with the thing. She left it at a furniture store, a super-trendy restaurant, the ER. Yikes!

    We always got it back, but I wish I had a back-up. The thing is, the doll got so worn and faded and her hair was frazzled. The back-up would have had to been worn out at the same rate or it wouldn't have been the same. It got to the point that I had that constant checking-in thing that women have about purses, only about that doll. I was sooooo glad when she finally gave up dragging it everywhere!

    Anyway, good luck with the sock-monkey rodeos...

  11. Truitt had a "softie blue blank" and we tried to purchase back up blank and they had the same blanket but not the same pattern and Truitt would never accept it! and yes that parent time at the end of the day to indulge in your vices is the best! Tracy

  12. The image of you two crawling around like that is cracking me up. I'm glad you were successful in getting them to stay sleeping, though. You're a busy lady - you need your Diet Coke time!

  13. Belly crawling, huh? That is a special kind of devotion! Actually, I think that would make a great video for your blog ;) Cute pic too!

  14. So funny! I can just picture this scene. :-) Love the pic of your daughter (and I am also a major diet coke addict as wel!).