Shifting towards a new reality....

I'm in new territory folks. And I feel like sharing some stuff with you. It's random but all connected. See below.

Right after we got our referral a friend who is a mother of twins sent me an email and said something about me being a twin mommy and then wrote: "I know I know, not *technically* twins but two kiddos, same age, same mama".

I immediately thought: oh wait, she has it wrong, they have two different mamas.

Then I realized the mama to whom she was referring was me.

Fast forward to the other day when I went running in the snow. It was cold, hence the snow. When I got into the shower the backs of my knees were super itchy and I was clawing and clawing and it reminded me of being a little kid with eczema behind my knees (it was traumatic y'all, the backs of my knees and the crooks of my elbows were always so raw I embarrassed!) and I had this thought "Oh man I hope the babies don't inherit my tendency for eczema."

Because, um, yeah, I'm their mama.

What a shift in my thought processes in just a few short weeks since referral--a few weeks of dreaming and staring at pictures and painting a nursery and putting furniture together (ok so Mr. MTL did all of the furniture building) and thinking about registries and pediatricians and poring over medical reports. A shift.

Don't call the men in white coats yet--I laughed out loud almost immediately after having that thought about inheriting my eczema.  Duh, obviously they aren't inheriting diddly from me in the genetic sense. In many ways that will be a good thing. The little girl has beautiful long legs and if she was genetically mine she most definitely would not as mine are more of the short and stumpy variety. But the thought process, that was purely organic, to think of them in that regard.

My babies. 100%, completely, totally, my babies.




*I have a whole other post to write about their first mothers, and the tremendous loss they have been dealt, but that is for a different day.