Monday, August 22, 2011

Uni-tasking.

Multitasking. When did this term become vogue? It actually bothers me now, much like the phrase "think outside the box" or--mega cringe--"paradigm shift". Did I just date myself? Ahem.

But more than just being annoying, I think the idea of multitasking has actually ruined a lot of us. Or ruined a lot of things, like the ability to uni-task <--(made up word I think).

We're praised for multitasking. Go to an interview and get asked to name your strength and many would proudly say "I can multitask with the best of 'em!" The interviewer would smile and nod enthusiastically. Yes! Yes! We want you to do ten things at once, and do them all well.

I am guilty as charged of multitasking. I make lists about making lists and I fold laundry while talking on my hands-free while watching the news while checking my email. Sheesh. The other day I was rocking one baby and rubbing the dog's belly with one foot while using the other foot to keep the rocker in perpetual motion and I'm sure I was going over a to-do list in my head and if I could have been, I would have been folding laundry at the same time. I am always--ALWAYS--thinking of what is next. I say our schedule out loud. We'll be running together as a family of four on an early Saturday morning I'll say to Mr. MTL "OK so next we'll do this, and then after that it's this, and then it will be time for X and Y and of course don't forget Z." And while I'm hearing my out loud voice proclaiming the day's schedule my internal voice is going over the mega list--you know the one--the one that lurks in the background always....things like.... readoption...circumcision (ack). Buy more life insurance. Change financial planners. Make a will (double ack). Etc. etc. etc. But all the while I'm missing the run. The sound of our feet on the pavement, our rhythmic breathing, the feeling of my muscles doing work, my children's coos and babbles as they notice everything around them.

I am not in the present so much of the time which sounds ridiculous because all you can ever be is in the present. When I am in the shower, surprise! I can only be in the shower. I cannot be anywhere else so I might as well enjoy it instead of thinking about what is coming next. One time, I started squeegeeing the shower walls while the water was still running before I realized what I was doing. That's pretty embarrassing.

Regarding parenting--multitasking can ruin that in a heartbeat. You cannot be blogging, commenting, checking email, Facebook, talking on the phone, whatever--while playing with your kids. But yet I adore my Iphone for exactly that reason. Enter-->guilt. Sure, I can semi-play. But I can't really play. Down on their level moving with them playing. And I must admit that I cannot fully experience the wonder of watching 9 and almost-9 month olds really play unless I'm fully in the present with them.
Yeah yeah yeah, mindfulness and being present might as well be 'paradigm shift' of today huh? You read about it everywhere. But it bears repeating, especially to my multi-tasked out brain.

Because, really, if I'm not really playing, down on their level, how will I ever see this?

20 comments:

  1. Oh, wow, is he ever *gorgeous*!! And I'm sure your lists have grown by miles!

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  2. What a cutie!

    Great post. Although I am reading and commenting while breastfeeding...

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  3. Yes, I'm commenting again--cutest dimples ever!!!

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  4. I vowed to myself two weeks ago- only to check my personal email 3 times a day...Also no electronics when I get home from work until after dinner, after Bible study and I feel detoxed. Husband and I spent the past weekend without our phones...WOW it felt good! Like you said, we were totally in the present and loving it!

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  5. Beautiful picture!!

    My husband is a list maker. He wakes up on Saturday morning and this is what he says "What's the plan" drives me crazy! I am a go with the flow kind of girl... I don't want a plan, I want to see where the day takes us, which i know in return drives him crazy. Somewhere in the middle we meet and make it work for us. Which like multitasking there has to be a middle ground.

    I have noticed that my 9 month old is obsessed with our smart phones and lap tops..which makes multitasking that much harder. =)

    Great post!

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  6. Thank you for this. My third child is nearly three and we are all so busy that I have not gotten down to play with him--on his level--in too long. I don't even remember when I last did that. I'm so busy trying to just keep my life going. I'm ashamed and sad that I haven't seen him PLAY lately and that I can't remember. Because I WANT to always see those moments in my mind's eye. I want to always know what that looks like. Feels like. You DO forget. I tell you. And maybe if we more consciously register these moments, we will remember. My oldest is nearly 12 and I have only the foggiest memories of him playing. I wish they were clearer and more plentiful. You are a good mom.

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  7. wow...dimples!!! I think I may unitask too much, its probably part of 12 years of yoga...not even something I try to do anymore and I think it is probably annoying to my hubby and others. If I am out playing with DD at the park, I can't for the life of me remember to take a picture or post it to the blog. I get home, say "wasn't that fun?" and then realize I have no pictures!!!! So, some multitasking isn't bad, lol.

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  8. So cute!!! It's good that you're acknowledging the need to stay in the present. I'm sure you guys are still adjusting and becoming accustomed to a much busier lifestyle with two kiddos, and before long you will settle into a routine that will allow you to sit back and smell the roses. I also thrive on routine, and this is a good reminder to try to relax a bit when our babies arrive!

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  9. How precious is THAT ?? LOL. Put away the Iphone, laundry, vacuuming, blah, blah, blah.... and just ENJOY !!

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  10. think outside the box? i think outside the bun

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  11. He's adorable! You're so right about trying to be in the moment - harder than it sounds for us mulit-tasking planners.

    PS - thanks for dropping by and offering your words of wisdom earlier.

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  12. This is really beautiful!

    It is SO HARD to switch off, isn't it? I go wildly between too much multitasking and then too much unitasking, and whichever I choose I feel loaded with GUILT for not having either lived in the moment or attended to whatever fire I think needs attending to. Trying to get down on the floor more. Trying to check my email less. Trying to waste less time footling around on the internet. But failing, most days. Sigh.

    Great post!

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  13. I totally hear you. It's hard to slow down, but hopefully that picture will remind you of the rewards - what a cutie!

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  14. Great post - what a good reminder for all of us!

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  15. I know just what you mean. And those dimples are to die for!!
    Amy x

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  16. I'm with you on both the multi and non-multi tasking moments in life.

    If there isn't SOMEONE looking ahead, making plans, setting a schedule and avoiding the road blocks then how would anything get done? Sometimes in order to perpetuate the function of a household, you need to not only be "present" but a bit "in the future". And I love my kid as much as the next mom, but some days I have to just go through the actions with her because if I have to comb another Strawberry Shortcake doll head I might scream. :)

    Then again, the times when your heart & brain can rest, you can put your blackberry on silent and just soak up their little adorableness are necessary too. But don't feel like you have to be this perfect mom that only operates on the time you're given during naps and after bedtime.
    LOVE the pics!

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  17. I catch myself doing the same thing, a ton of things at once and not being fully present with the baby. I've been making myself stop and enjoy my miracle with all of my attention - so totally worth letting a couple of thing slide (which is probably why I haven't read blogs in two weeks.... :).

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  18. I can so relate to this. It's really challenging finding time for both, your time and quality time with the little one. I find myself trying to catch up on things on the computer while Tyler plays and many times I stop and think, what am I doing? I worked so hard for this little guy and I'm sitting here on this computer when I could be down on the floor with him. At the same time, things need to be done. Plain and simple, just not enough time in the day.

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